Good Roommate Opportunities

First draft of system structure

For those of us that need visual reminders, this system can help us be better roommates. This also works for individuals! You can be a good roommate for your future self.

Define Each Person's Needs & Thresholds

This requires vulnerability and radical acceptance from everyone involved. No exceptions.

How can you meet someone's needs if you don't know what they are?

How can someone meet your needs if they don't know what they are?

What's important to you when it comes to your environment?

What's your threshold for things like clutter, sound, people, conversation, etc?

What are your needs that you you struggle to keep up with?

What are the chores you do naturally, if any (no shame here)?

What are the chores that cause you sensory discomfort?

Define the Household Baselines

Based on everyone's needs and thresholds, what are the baselines necessary to make it a comfortable space for everyone - ie how clean should you keep it, where can clutter live, what smells to avoid, acceptable volume on the TV and speakers, etc.

Define your Household Laws, Rules, & Guidelines

Laws: Rules that cannot be bent or broken without damaging trust and relationships. These are non-negotiables, like no stealing, no physical violence, no vandalism, etc. Define each law clearly along with the consequence for breaking each law.

Rules: These are house rules that everyone is expected to follow, no matter who is there. Things like, don't let the cat out past 6pm, if you open a box of snacks put the snacks in the snack bin & recycle the box, no food allowed in specific rooms, etc.

Guidelines: These are flexible but have a general baseline, like what's "good form" and what's "bad form". Examples like putting the seat down & flushing the toilet, not leaving dirty dishes out, how long a turn is on a device or appliance, etc.

Regular SyncUps

The key is to be overly clear when writing these, keeping in mind that you'll learn about yourselves and each other as you go.

Hold a regularly scheduled "SyncUp" meeting to see how the Laws, Rules, and Guidelines are working for everyone. These can be monthly, quarterly, whatever amount of time works for you, but they should happen at least 4 times per year in order to avoid miscommunication or built-up resentment.

Keep a Shared Agenda: Post a shared list of items to discuss at the next SyncUp. Add to it as issues or new factors come up.

Take Ownership: When you add something to the agenda for discussion, you are responsible for coming prepared with ideas and context around any amendments you want to request.

Use Curiosity & Flexibility: Listen to requests with curiosity. Present requests & solutions with flexibility.

Define Home Operations

How will your home operate? Where are packages stored, when does garbage get picked up, what goes in the recycling, what needs to be done before the last person goes to bed each night, etc.

Define Roles (Who Takes the Lead on Each Job)

Who buys the groceries? Who cooks dinner? Who pays the house bills? Who manages the yard work?

These can be set roles or they can be rotating, but they have to be clearly defined.

Create a way to communicate with the Leader, like a shopping list where anyone can request what they need, an inbox for the person that sorts the mail, etc.

Make It Visible

Once you've defined all the things - MAKE THEM VISIBLE

Don't expect everyone to remember all of this. Put it up on the walls or in a handbook that anyone can look at.

Write down the steps needed in order to complete a job properly and keep it accessible.

Keep a place to share tips and tricks you learn along the way that make a job easier.